Confirmation = Determination

So, even though we have pretty much known for 2 weeks that adoption was going to be our option, it was still a little difficult to see it (ya, in an email) this morning. Our Doc reviewed the lab results with another doctor and neither saw any sperm sells (LAME). He is supposed to call to discuss our "options" but hasn't yet. He talked to us about using a sperm donor before and when we both said we weren't interested he said he'd bring it up again if we got to that point... we are here, and still not interested.

I've been asked by quite a few people why we are not interested, and really, I guess all I can say is that we just aren't. I don't really have a "good" reason. I have a few selfish ones i.e. if I am going to be pregnant I want it to be with Pat's baby, not someone elses... and a couple other reasons, but mainly we just aren't.

So, moving on swiftly to adoption. We are terrified, but excited. We know it's going to be a long, crazy, emotional process, and can I say we are totally "ready" for it? No. I don't think we can be, at least not at this point. It's still pretty new...very new. I've contacted a bunch of agencies (wow, are there a lot!!) and we are signed up to go to a couple of classes over the next couple of month. Really the only thing keeping us from starting the process is Husband being out of a job. He's been jobless since November :( He feels so bad about it, and now with the added sterility...well, he's just not a happy camper. He's searching for a job hard, and I'm confident he'll find something, hopefully still in his field (he's a carpenter... Jesus's job right? Hecka Holy). Anywhoo, like I said, we are terrified, and excited, and looking for info, and trying not to go crazy!!!

We started our major house clean and organization today, get prepared for that homestudy...no time like the present, right? We've gotten rid of a TON of stuff, and put lots and lots in our garage sale pile.

OH!! I am going to be changing the name of my blog. Now that I have somewhat come to grips with the fact that "fertility wishes" will not be answered, and "BFP dreams" will not come true.... I just think I need a change. This might end up with me changing the blogspot address as well, but since I'll only have to inform like, 6 people lol, I'm not too worried. I don't know what I'll call it yet... is "The Road Less Traveled" too cliche? Is "Adoption is the New Pregnant" offensive? I don't know. Once I think of some real witty and awesome sounding names I may post a poll... not sure yet.

So... I'm sure there is more I want to say, but I can think of it. One of my adoption books arrived in the mail today, sooo that'll keep me from doing all kinds of schoolwork :D

Oh! Can you tell I'm a student and teacher at heart? This is the binder for adoption info I put together.




Oh... and here is a pic I took of my nephew at the fair over the weekend. He was so brave on all the rides!!