Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Last night I had the fabulous opportunity to attend the RESOLVE peer-led support group in my area. I am already in love with it, lol. It is so nice to be around people who understand, really, REALLY (unfortunately) understand.

I have, unfortunately, gotten to the point where it is really hard for me to talk to people who aren't going through infertility about what is going on with us because I get too frustrated! I try not to, and I know that people's advice is (for the most part) meant with good intentions, but every time I hear "you're still so young, you've got time" or "just relax" I want to scream!! I obviously know Pat and I are young to be going through this... I know we still have "plenty of time"... I know it, and don't need to hear it from other people lol. Sorry, just had to vent a bit :D

Buuutttt I digress. The group was really good. I think there was 5 of us, and we just sat around and talked and laughed. There was no crying, which is nice lol, especially since I've become such a crier lately. I know there were a lot of regulars who weren't there last night, and some new people that couldn't be there, but it was really nice. I guess it's always nice to be around like-minded people.

Let me also make a point of saying that this experience really put me in my place. I know my situation sucks, but wow... why do such good people have to go through such shitty things. More specifically, why can't treatment be affordable? It doesn't have to be cheap... just reasonable. I've talked about this a bit before, and one of our discussion topics last night was about giving back to the infertility community once we have reached our goals. Just being at that meeting made me want to be involved in something like this so much more. It's so unfair to see women who would be magnificent parents waiting years and years just to save up money for one round of IVF! I don't know how I'd go about setting something up, and we discussed how we could all do something as a group, but I just think it is such a great idea. Some way to give back to a couple, or a woman who desperately wants, but is unable to afford treatment. It really made me count my blessings, and realize that even though we can't afford treatment now, that someday we will get our good insurance back, and will be able to afford it then.

Nothing new is really going on at this point. Work started back up yesterday. I'm just substitute teaching, and so far have picked up two jobs for this week. We'll see how steady the work is, I'm hoping I can at least work 3 days a week.

I'm going to post up some links on here, just in case you happen to be looking for a peer-led RESOLVE support group, or are looking for a possible fertility treatment "scholarship"

RESOLVE - Main Site
You can find local info by clicking on the side link by that name

The Tinina Q. Cade Foundation, Inc. - They have a few different grant options, some go up to $10,000, applications will be up in the Summer it looks like.

Parenthood for Me - This site is currently accepting applications for Summer grants.

Hope those help!!


  1. I know I already told you this, but I am so glad that you were able to go to that meeting, and that you were able to gain a new perspecitive, as well as find support from it; is just icing on the cake.

    I've stopped talking to my friends about it as well. They just don't fricken get it, and it's not worth me re-explaining all the details of my cycles and protocol when they're only going to respond with hurtful or less than constructive comments... So yes, you are young. And the odds are in your favor that you will be sucessful soon. But that doesn't change the fact that you've wanted this for almost two years. It's like saying that completely dismisses the pain, and loss, and frustration you've endured. It makes me want to scream too. For you.

    And I couldn't agree more about the cost of things. It's like these clinics have us over a barrel, and are only taking advantage of it. "You want a kid? It's gonnnnnna cost yaaaa!" GRRRRRR!

    Okay I have to get back to work. Talk to you soon!

  2. I love my online buddies, but sometimes nothing is as helpful as face-to-face time with people who understand.

    Age doesn't change how you feel. Your heart wants a child. Why can't people understand that?

  3. I attend a IRL group here and it's good to be around people who are going through similar things. I took my husband this past Monday and he was blown away to hear stories similar to ours. It is a great resource!


  4. We started TTC when I was 26 and DH was 29, and we got the "you're so young, you have plenty of time" comments all the time. Well, I just turned 30 and still no baby (well, not from TTC, though we did adopt a phenomenal baby boy in May!). Shoot, that sounds kind of discouraging, but more what I meant is, you're right, it's not all about age, and those comments just aren't helpful. You're going through what you're going through and I found there's nothing like IF to make you feel old before your time. I've always meant to go to a Resolve meeting and glad you found it helpful!


My Aunt Jane Knows More Than My RE ----- I stole this from C :D

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