A Nice Punch in The Face...

to end the year.

My period started early... It's been late for the last three months, but this time it was early.
Because it's early and the RE's office is closed today-Mon, and because we'll be out of town Monday... We'll be canceling this cycle I guess. Even if we were here on Monday, we'd still be outside the CD 1-3 testing area.
I just really shouldn't have gotten my hopes up for this cycle. I knew better than that. 2010 was the year of NO TREATMENT. I guess I shouldn't have expected that AF starting on the last day of 2010 would be anything but bad.
I put in a desperate voicemail and email to my doc to see if anything could be done on CD5 of a cycle, but I pretty much doubt it.

Right now I am beyond sad, and pretty pissed... but I guess I need to buck up, and get ready for our weekend get away...which happens to be to the Happiest Place on Earth, haha...That is some kind of sick joke I think.

I can't believe that it's been a year since my last resolutions post. I'll do another one when we return for our trip. I'm just trying to hope that 2011 is a whole lot better than 2010.

Back in the Saddle

And by saddle, I mean stirrups.

I went in for my saline sonogram today, and as suspected it was all clear... yay me. I'm not really mad that I had to redo it... Lord knows I'd hate to get started and then find out something was wrong, but wow... I hate that procedure. I had it done last year, and yup... still uncomfy. I CAN NOT relax while I'm on the table, I shake from straining my muscles, and by time I leave I'm sore, even if the whole ordeal wasn't painful. It's ridiculous.

I had to get a blood test done (redone) that the RE forgot about last time. Forgetting stuff is pretty common for him...

BUT, I did find out that I'll be cycling with the NP there, who I love :) We were supposed to meet today to go over our plan, but she wasn't able to. I was fine with that since the only real discussion will be about the meds. She sent me an email about everything though, which I thought was nice of her since we couldn't meet.

Overall, I am really happy to be back at Kaiser and getting ready to cycle. I'm comfy with them, and they've gotten me pregnant before. The Husband is comfy with them, which is really important to me too.

In other news....
*I am done with the first semester of my Masters program!! Woo Hoo!! Even though it's a bit of a soul sucker, I'm reallllly glad I am doing it.

*This is my last week working full time with my AMAZING sixth grade class. Even though there are a lot of them, and they sure are full o' hormones, I love those kids, and will miss not seeing them every day. After winter break I'll be in there w-f each week. Bittersweet. We'll see how it goes.

*I have been reading a ton lately, and need to update my reading goals. I read the Hunger Games trilogy...it was AWESOME! I highly suggest it. Now I am reading The White Queen by Phillipa Gregory, it's also really good. It's for book club... the bood club where I've only managed to get through one book on time, haha. Mostly it's just a time-to-hang-out-with-good-friends club, which is fine by me.

*Also, not real thrilled about the holidays... everyone dealing with IF knows why. I'm trying, and I am SUPER excited about getting a Kindle... hopefully. But, I'm not really in the spirit, and the Christmas cards of friends with babies are pouring in.

All my IFers... I love you guys. Be strong this holiday season. Our time will come :)

Obviously...

I should have known that I would not waltz into my RE's office and expect them to say "sure, as soon as AF shows, we'll start your cycle!" Why did I even think that was possible, lol... because it's NOT.

So, here's the deal.
One, I have to get some tests repeated because it's been over a year since treatment. This includes a whole heck of a lot of blood work, and a saline sonogram (joy). I'll do the bloodwork on CD3, and the sono around CD10. So, no cycle this month :(
Two, my doctor doesn't want me to use Bravelle as my main medication because I have such a high risk of multiples. This is a really tough pill to swallow. If the last cycle we did (in Oct 2009) hadn't been successful, it'd be different, but it was. And it was successful using Bravelle, which makes the thought of NOT using it mildly terrifying, like we are destined to fail if we use anything else. The doc said he'd leave it up to me, and I still could use only Bravelle, but he's more comfy with me using Femara, with a possible Bravelle booster. SO frustrating, especially since an amazing lady from my IF support group offered me some Bravelle free of charge. Unless I either come to my senses, or get told I have no choice... well, you pretty much see where this is going.
Finally, the doc is confident that we'll be able to start cycling in Jan, but of course had to add the "no guarantees" in there.... Thanks for that.

So, unfortunately I won't be cycling during Christmas, which is what I really wanted. Boo! But, what can you do. We are getting closer at least... closer than when we had no insurance, no money and no hope.

Now I just have to pray that all my repeat bloodwork and my saline sono comes back good. Nothing like more stress, eh?