The hardest part of all of this is the not knowing.
I've seen the little Pumpkin Seed, and heard it's beautiful heartbeat... but only once. Between then and now, WHO KNOWS what could be going on??
Could everything have gone wrong since then? I don't know...
I don't do well not knowing. I'm not the type of person who can live in blissful ignorance and be okay.
The thought of waiting two more weeks for an ultrasound seems like a LIFETIME away. It seems an impossible amount of time to wait.
I know that every woman goes through this, and maybe I shouldn't complain... but I am.
I'm worried that the progesterone is what is causing everything I'm feeling. I'm also worried about having to stop the progesterone on March 8th. I think I'll be weaning myself off of it, since some ridiculous part of my mind is certain that the progesterone is the only reason I'm staying pregnant.
Other than those little freak outs, here is what's going on.
- PAINFUL boobs! That's pretty much been constant since about the time I got my bfp, but wow... sometimes it actually makes me wince. I've started wearing a sports bra to bed, and while they still hurt, at least they don't wake me up when I roll over at night.
- Sickness. For a while it was WAY worse at night. The only times I've actually barfed have been at night, but I actually think I've gotten that under control. Now the queasiness lasts pretty much all day. I'm still working on making that distinction of starving = barfy = eat. It's such a weird sensation.
- Cravings. Mostly just for random things. Things that seem like I HAVE to have them or I'll die. Some favorites so far... bean and cheese burrito, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut, sou.r pat.ch kids candy
- Exhaustion. This actually just recently started. I'm the type of person who is pretty much always a little tired, but this is definitely more than that.
- Emotions. Just all over the place.
- Constipation, heartburn, gas
I've got the mandatory prenatal class at the hospital on Wednesday. Husband can't go because they only offer it on Wednesday :(
I'm really not looking forward to it, but to set up my next appts I have to go.
Hopefully they'll give me some free stuff :)
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